


One Step Forward

by panda_desu



Category: 35-sai no Koukousei
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 04:26:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panda_desu/pseuds/panda_desu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is it, isn't it, Ren?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Step Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly AU because this happens after episode 11. Spoiler alert for episode 11.

"You have to call me, okay! Definitely! Definitely you have to call!! I won't forgive you if you don't!!!" Osamu shouts before he disappears inside the gate of the station, being dragged by Jinbo and the others or else they'll miss the last train.

Ren cups both of his hands in front of his mouth and shouts back, "I will!"

Masamitsu smirks and shouts back, too "Why don't YOU call?" Then he laughs, "Ass."

They stand there, watching their friends' figures slipping one by one inside the station with smile and laughter on their faces. They've agreed to postpone the celebration of their graduation so they could celebrate it together after Baba-chan and Akutsu graduated, as well. They even planned to surprise them by coming to the class as the two received their graduation letter. They went to eat and karaoke after that. It was really fun. Some of them cried. But everyone laughed.

Masamitsu draws a deep breath and releases it loudly. He throws both of his hands to the air to stretch his body. "Aaah~ When was the last time we had that much fun?"

Ren looks at him, smiling widely. He shrugs, "I can't remember. I think we never really had any."

"Hmm, I guess you're right." He then slips both of his hands inside his pockets and cocks his head, "Come on. I'll walk you home."

Ren raises an eyebrow, "Am I a girl?"

Masamitsu snorts, looking at Ren over his shoulder, "Kareshi deshou."

Ren bites his lip, preventing himself from smiling too wide from hearing such statement from Masamitsu. It's the first time the boy ever said that. Loudly, that is. Since Masamitsu agreed to Ren's request to be his boyfriend more than a year ago, their relationship is always rather one-sided. Masamitsu never bothers and Ren is trying too hard. 

They never talk about it, either. Both of them know that Ren is always, always falling in love with Masamitsu and Masamitsu only reciprocates his feeling because it's convenient. Ren doesn't care about it, actually. Masamitsu never refuses him and that's enough for Ren.

But Ren won't say that he doesn't feel extremely happy when Masamitsu shows some kind of affectionate gesture toward him. Like now. They've spent nights together at Ren’s room or Masamitsu’s; nights that didn’t include Osamu, nights when Ren would kiss Masamitsu or more than that. But for Masamitsu to say that he'd walked Ren home is the first time. It sounds and feels different and Ren likes it so much.

He matches Masamitsu's pace, steps light and can't stop smiling. He watches Masamitsu closely, amused by the soft breeze of wind playing with Masamitsu's curly hair. He reaches out and touches that hair, tugging it behind an ear. Masamitsu looks startled and Ren has to pull his hand away.

"Sorry," he mutters.

Masamitsu only smiles and they continue to walk. Ren doesn't really mind the silence and takes a step closer to Masamitsu so their arms will occasionally bump against each other as they walk. He looks down as he feels a warm touch around his hand then raises his head to take a look at Masamitsu. It doesn't surprise him when Masamitsu's face doesn't show anything. So he smiles again and tightens his hand around Masamitsu's.

Masamitsu takes a deep breath. His head is so full about many things right now and he's trying to sort them out. And holding Ren's hand like this surprisingly makes thinking a little bit easier.

"So," he begins, "Waseda?"

Ren looks surprised at Masamitsu's choice of topic but quickly nods his head. "Yeah, I just got the letter two days ago."

"Well, you're always the smart one so it's no wonder that you passed," he comments.

Ren nudges Masamitsu's side with his elbow, "What's that suppose to mean? Mou~"

Masamitsu laughs, "Sorry. I mean, you deserve it. And I haven't congratulated you properly, have I?" He turns to Ren and says earnestly, "Omedetou."

Ren smiles and nods, "Arigatou." and bumped his shoulder against Masamitsu's. "What about you? You're going to take that job offer from your uncle?" Ren asks then, tilting his head a little.

"For the time being, yeah. I still want to try getting in to law school. I'm not as smart as you but I'll do my best." Masamitsu sighs.

Ren nods again, "You can do it if you really want it. It's always like that, isn't it? You're never good with not having it your way, after all."

"You made it sound so bad. I'm tamer now, you know." Masamitsu sulks.

"I know," Ren laughs and squeezes Masamitsu's hand softly. "It feels weird, doesn't it? Despite everything that happened, we finally managed to graduate and about to go to university or working somewhere. It feels rather lonely."

"Yeah," Masamitsu takes a deep breath. "It is."

Ren looks at him and frowns, "Masamitsu?"

"This is it, isn't it, Ren? Even for us."

Slowly, Ren releases his hold. He senses something is not right. "Masamitsu?"

Masamitsu takes another deep breath and locking his eyes with Ren. " I just realised, after all this time, that this, our relationship, is so unfair to you."

"I don't--"

Masamitsu raises his hand, stopping Ren from interrupting. "Please, don't argue. It is unfair and you have to admit that. You always follow everywhere I go. I think we no longer can do that since you're going to university and I'm going to work for my uncle, and everything else. So, since these past months are all about making it better, I think it's about time we should do something to end this."

Ren only looks at him for a long time. Then, unconsciously, Ren takes a step back. He shakes his head as he feels like being hammered to the ground. "No," he mutters hoarsely. Masamitsu can't be talking about breaking up with him. He must’ve heard it wrong. He can't be breaking up with Masamitsu. What will he do? Who will support his entire being if not Masamitsu? 

"Ren," Masamitsu tries to stop him but Ren keeps on shaking his head. Ren looks horrified and his face is so pale. "Please, listen to me. Ren!" he catches his friend's body as Ren's knees fail him and he's about to fall on the ground. He grips both of Ren's elbows and helps him to stand again.

"No. No, Masamitsu." Ren is still shaking his head. Both of his hand clutches Masamitsu's arms that hold him. "No." He sound like he's begging but Ren doesn't care. He will beg. He will scream. He will do anything.

"Ren, I--"

The hold on his arms is so tight Masamitsu has to flinch. Ren looks angry now. His whole body trembles as he balls his fists. He sounds hysterical as he opens his mouth again, "No I'm not hearing this! I don't want to! Don't even try to make me listen to this, Masamitsu!"

Masamitsu has to raise his voice, "But you must! Listen to me!!"

"NO!"

"LISTEN. TO. ME!!!"

That does it. Ren cowers and his hold loosens. His body is still trembling but now maybe because of another reason. Masamitsu loosens his grip also, but maintain it to keep Ren from falling. Ren seems to be hyperventilating. Masamitsu taps his cheek lightly, "Ren. Hey," he says softly. "Breathe, Ren. Please."

He watches silently as Ren tries to take a deep breath. Failing a couple of times, finally the pretty boy is breathing evenly now. But then he sobs, silently. Biting his lip, Ren is trying so hard to keep his tears from falling but it's so hard to do when his heart is breaking so badly. His hands clutches Masamitsu's jacket again and he starts weeping pitifully.

Masamitsu never thought that Ren would react like this. This is not what he's expected. He should've known better and maybe find a better way to express his feelings. He takes a deep long breath and bring Ren with him to sit down. He's thankful that it's quite late and the street is somewhat deserted. He tries his best to stay calm. Carefully, he brushes away Ren's bangs from his face and slips some strands behind an ear so Masamitsu can see Ren's face. He wipes those tears away with his thumbs, finding something to say so Ren will stop crying.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispers. "I didn't mean to hurt you by that."

Ren sniffs, refuses to look at Masamitsu.

"I mean it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I know I've been doing it this whole time. Hurting you, that is. I was planning not to do it again but it seems that I did it wrong." He huffs and places his hands on either side of Ren's shoulders. "What I mean is..." Why is is so much harder to say now, Masamitsu wonders, "...let's live together."

It takes a full minute before Ren moves his head and stares at Masamitsu. "....Wh, what?"

Masamitsu relaxes, "I plan to live on my own after graduation. Besides, I don't mind having you around and it seems that I can't stop you from finding me and always be around me, either."

"Masamitsu..."

Masamitsu scratches the back of his head, messing his curly hair a bit. "I'm still not sure about how I feel about you, though. So I still can't promise you anything. It's just..." he sighs then winces, "I'm really not good at this, you know."

To his own surprise, Ren laughs. It sounds weird since he's still a little bit choked up. He wipes his face with one hand and laughs again, "We've been dating for a year, Masamitsu. Don't you think at least I know that you're not good at this?"

Masamitsu playfully punches Ren on the shoulder, "Shut up," but he can't help himself and joins Ren in a laugh. He then takes both of Ren's hands and holds them each in his own hands. He caresses Ren's palms with his thumbs and carefully looks at him. "I'm sorry. For being such an ass this whole time."

"Please, don't say that." Ren groans.

Masamitsu is about to argue but looking at Ren’s face that looks like he’s ready to hit Masamitsu if he insist, he shuts his mouth. "Okay," Masamitsu grins. "But I mean it."

It's the weirdest place of all to sit and talk about this, Ren finds himself thinking. He's still a little bit shocked but extremely happy at the same time. Damn this boy for always playing with his feelings but Ren is used to that. It's his stubbornness that makes him stay. He sniffs and blinks away some tears from his eyes.

"I..." he closes his hands around Masamitsu's, "I bet Osamu would want to come over often," he says, smiling a little.

Masamitsu laughs, realizing that this is Ren's answer to him, "Yeah, we can always throw him to the street if he became too annoying."

Ren tugs on those hands, playing catch with Masamitsu's thumbs, "You wouldn't have the heart to."

Masamitsu snorts, "Isn't that you? You're always so nice to him."

"Is that jealousy I heard?" Ren throws a meaningful grin at Masamitsu. His thumb dodges Masamitsu's thumb and then chases it.

"You wish," Masamitsu snorts, pulling his thumb from under Ren's and maneuvers it so he almost catches Ren's this time.

Ren laughs. "Can't blame me for that."

Masamitsu stops moving and looks at his friend. No one will dispute how pretty Ren is. Osamu has absentmindedly said that Ren is the prettiest and smartest in their class and Masamitsu can't argue to that. He should be feeling lucky that such person has their eyes set on him and only him. His thumb runs across Ren's knuckle and he tugs those hands gently, "Ne, Ren..."

"Hmm?"

"Kisu shite."

Ren snorts a laugh but knows exactly that he can never refuse such request. Not when it comes from Masamitsu. So he brings his face closer to Masamitsu's, leaning slightly and hovers his lips just a breath away from Masamitsu's waiting ones. His eyes glance at Masamitsu for a moment before closing in and let his breath being stolen as his lips meet Masamitsu's.

"Suki," he whispers in to the kiss, "Shinu made Masamitsu ga suki."

-end-


End file.
